Since November 15. That's right, in over 30 days. I've been editing and revising like crazy. My second novel, ELEMENTAL HUNGER, is undergoing a major makeover. And I'm not like Kurt on Glee who thinks makeovers are like crack.
More like cold-water torture. Self-inflicted, because I wrote the novel so suckily (it's my blog and I say it's a word) the first time. In fact, I have since realized why it's not as polished as some of my other third drafts.
It's a NaNo novel.
2008, to be exact. And I "finished" it earlier this year. The last 100 pages are in far (far far) better shape than the first 200. Why?
Because I wrote them over a span of two months instead of two weeks.
Go figure.
So, I solemnly resolve to get this bad boy whipped into shape.
Problem? I have a shiny new idea that wants to be written. And since I haven't penned any new words in such a long time, my resolve to revise EH is waning.
How long has it been since you've written? Do you miss it when you don't write? What keeps you from writing?
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Have Not Written a Single Word
Why I Keep Writing
Okay, so I titled this post over the weekend, and as I sit down to write it, I cannot think of a single thing.
So I started writing. I emerged from the dark. I'm happy now. Even in "dark" times, I am nowhere near the kind of blackness I once was. Thankfully.
So...now that I'm a writer, why do I keep writing?
Um...
Because I like it?
*thinking*
*still thinking*
*more thinking*
*frantically trying to think of a different blog topic*
*scanning over what I've already written, finger hovering over the delete key*
Oh, my gosh! I already answered it!!
Why do I keep writing?
Because I'm a writer. (Man, I am a genius at this moment. *snarf*)
Now that you've started writing, why do you keep writing?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Why I Started Writing
Christmas and the end of the year always have me contemplating my life. So since you're all privy to the inner workings of my mind, you get to come along for the journey.
Today: Why I Started Writing.
Disclosure: I'm not someone who's always wanted to be a writer. When I was growing up, I didn't feel this desire to pen words. In fact, I abhorred English classes and opted out of them my senior year. I went into Chemistry as a freshman in college. English? Writing? Humanities? A big fat "no thank you."
I think this is like, one of the seven deadly sins or something, so if you want to stop reading here, feel free.
But anyway, I didn't want to be a writer. I wanted to teach. You see, I had imagination. I spent hours making the roll for my "class." I wrote kids' names on the board. I gave grades. I was born to be a teacher.
And I am.
It's awesome. I love it.
So fast forward to Thanksgiving, 2007. Well, okay, back up a bit. The August before that I suffered a horrific personal loss.
And I disappeared.
I got up each day and got the kids ready for school. I went to work. I existed. But only in shades of gray, in world with no color, no emotion, no nothing. If you ask me what happened during those four months, I can't tell you.
I was alive, but not living.
My husband would ask me how my day was (as he knew I wasn't whole, but didn't know how to put all my broken pieces back together), and I'd simply look at him. I had no words. Because it was just another day and I had made it through.
So Thanksgiving came. I was going to be 30 in two weeks, so I decided to sit down and write my personal life history (cuz I'm into family history and stuff). And I found that when I sat at the computer and poured words onto the screen, I could live.
Really live.
And so I finished my personal history of the first 30 years of my life and immediately opened a new document and began writing another story.
And thus, how I started writing.
Because I don't do anything halfway, I've since determined that I want to be a published author. And so I'm pursuing that.
But you know what? No matter what happens in 2010, no matter if I get a book deal or I don't, I know one thing.
I am already a successful writer. Because writing provided a light in a dark dark place when I couldn't find the exit.
And that's better than a book deal.
But I'll take a book deal too, pretty please. *wink*
So, my dearest readers and beloved friends, why did you start writing?
Monday, December 14, 2009
My Agent Is Like...
...The best birthday present ever. That's right, it's my birthday today. I'm...one year older than I was last year. And apparently I like ellipses.
Anyway, I'm dedicating my birthday post to my agent, Michelle Andelman aka Booksta (Dawg, don't remember the gangsta names? Check 'em out, yo).
In fact, today a bunch of agented authors are dedicating their posts to their agents (a great idea generated by the fabulous Kody Keplinger). Because they're A) people too and B) work pretty dang hard in behalf of their authors and C) get trashed pretty much everywhere.
But not today, my feathered friends. Not. Today. Because it's Unofficially Official Agent Day. (Try to wrap your head around that.)
So in keeping with my lists this week, I've compiled a few things that make Michelle Andelman worthy to have an agent gangsta name.
1. In the month we've been working together, she's already made me laugh out loud three times. And just through email. And that's impressive, my friends. I'm not just handing out laughs for free. Oh, no.
2. She's got her finger on the pulse of publishing. So really, I have like, this IV I can tap into anytime I want. And I love that. Because, frankly, sometimes I have to check myself and make sure I haven't flatlined yet.
3. Her positivity is infectious. And I mean "infectious" in a good way, not the H1N1 kind.
4. She is lightning fast in both reading and responding. And when you have lightning on your side, what else do you need?? Srsly. That's like commanding the universe or something.
So give it up for Booksta! (Or should I call her The Paperback Kid? Oooh, I kinda like that... Thoughts?)
And then go check out what my agency sisters have to say about Michelle.
Kirsten Hubbard
Kristin Botts
Shari Green
Jennifer Chen
Check out these other authors who have shown the love.
Lisa and Laura Roecker adore Catherine Drayton
Kody Keplinger and Sarah Frances Hardy show the love for Joanna Stampfel-Volpe
Christine Fonseca high-fives Krista Goering
Mary Lindsey dishes about Joan Paquette
Suzette Saxton tells us about Brendan Deneen
Bethany Wiggins gives it up for Marlene Stringer
Gretchen McNeil is infatuated with Ginger Clark
Shelli Johannes-Wells and Kristina McBride write sweet nothings about Alyssa Eisner Henken
Katie Anderson gushes about Cheryl Pientka
Julia Karr and Carrie Harris and Kiki Hamilton are hilariously in love with Kate Shafer Testerman
Scott Tracey sings the praises of Colleen Lindsay
Kiersten White tells us why Michelle Wolfson rules
Susan Adrian relishes in the joy with Janet Reid
Stephanie Burgis buddies up to Barry Goldblatt
Irene Latham hands out the hugs to Rosemary Stimola
Victoria Schwab presents the trophy to Amy Tipton
Andrea Cremer hands out the love to Charlie Olsen
Tabitha Olson brags about Andrea Cascardi
Jennifer Hubbard makes it all about Nathan Bransford
Kristin Miller types the praises of Suzie Townsend
And Lisa and Laura are compiling the whole list over on their blog (check the comments). So go check that out.
Yo. EJ-Jamma, out.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Getting Critiqued Is Like...
...Flinging yourself out of a fast-moving airplane wearing only a parachute your novice boyfriend packed. That's right. ONLY the parachute. ;-P
*Insert own ending here*
That's me and my group. We are gorgeous. We dive out of planes on a bi-monthly basis. It is awesome.
My Getting Critiqued Toolkit:
1. Cheerios (for crying into)
2. Dragon hide
3. Twisted Sister
4. A strong sense of your story
5. Stock in Trust Your Gut, Inc.
How do you handle critiques? What's in your getting critted toolkit?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Querying Is Like...
...Asking the cutest guy in school for a date, being laughed at by him and his horde of teammates and then having your picture defaced in the school yearbook by said jockaholic.
Just. Like. That.
My Querying Toolkit:
1. Supportive writerly friends (preferably on gmail so I can
2. Reese's peanut butter cups and French's French fried onion thingies (chocolate + fried food = snack of champions. Er...queryers. Should that be an i? Queriers? They're both freaking me out.)
3. A new writing project (but who are we kidding??)
4. Home remodeling (or some other task that you normally abhor. Hey, it actually makes querying better, if you can believe it)
How have you endured querying? What's in your query toolkit?
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Revising Is Like...
...Pulling out your teeth, rearranging them and then putting them back in your mouth, hopefully in a better position than they were in before. If they fit. The ones that don't? Well, you just toss those ones down the disposal and turn it on, of course.
And you know, that hurts.
Good thing I like gum pain.
My Revising Toolkit:
1. Pandora
2. Pens (okay, I use markers. pink markers) and a printed copy of my MS
3. Ginger ale and bubblicious
4. Farmville and CafeWorld
What's revising like for you? What's in your toolkit?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Writing Is Like...
...Getting in a car when you don't really know where you're going, but you have a credit card with no limit, "the mutha" of Squirt mixed with grape flavoring, and the feeling that you're going to arrive somewhere awesome.
With the top down.
Oh yeah.
Like that.
My Writing Toolkit:
1. Laptop
2. Notebook and pen
3. Pandora (or iTunes) and a good set of sound-canceling headies
What's writing like for you? What's in your writing toolkit?
Monday, December 7, 2009
'Fess Up Friday
Okay, so my inbox is cursed. Maybe yours is too. Mine's got this weird virus that's keeping all the important emails out. Like it's killing them off or something.
I've been standing in the shower for a few extra minutes lately, mentally pep-talking myself into checking my email. "This is it. You're gonna have the best email ever today. The best. Ev. Er. Get out of the shower already."
So I get out of the shower. Get dressed. Take a deep, cleansing breath and open the Internet browser.
Hallelujah!
I have 34 emails!
All from Facebook. It's how I get email.
Hey, it's better than nothing, right? At least that's what I've been telling myself.
My name is Elana Johnson, and I make sure my inbox is full by participating on Facebook. *cheers, applause, knowing looks from fellow Facebook Anonymous members*
What's your dirty little secret? I know you have one. Tell...tell...
Friday, December 4, 2009
New Moon Reflections
You knew it was coming. My discussion of New Moon. Yes, I went at midnight (12:01 AM actually) on opening day/night/whatever. No, it wasn't my favorite movie.
And no, I'm not going to discuss why. No, today I want to talk about the actors. Well, really just one: Kristen Stewart.
I'll just be upfront: she drives me a little batty. Here's why. Occasionally, I watch the late shows. And by "occasionally" I mean I watch them when my husband has already watched them, decided something is worthy for me to see, DVR's it and then nags me to watch it for a few days.
Thus, how I saw Rob P., Kristen S. and Taylor L. on The Jimmy Kimmel Show.
One word: Hilarious. I hope you saw it. Really funny. Well, Jimmy was. Even Rob gave me a laugh (when he said he thought having a pre-pubescent girl's body would be sufficient, I snarfed and then rewound so I could snarf again). Taylor is by far the most normal of that trio.
And that brings me to Kristen. So she's on the show, promoting the movie. Promoting herself. And what does she say? "I'm a loser and very boring."
I was like, "Really? That's what you're going to say about yourself? On a promotional show? For realz?"
I mean, seriously. I know we've talked about self-confidence and over-confidence on this blog before, but come on. I don't want to hear her call herself a loser. Cuz you know what? Now my suspicions of her loserdom have been confirmed--from her own mouth.
So again, dear writer friends, where's the line? That one between "I am the greatest person on the planet and I'm just a normal person, but hey I'm pretty great at this writing thing." Or acting. Or drawing. Or whatever.
Help a sister out. I don't think Kristen has it right, and I'm wondering where "it" is. Thoughts? About Kristen, Rob (and how he's not really supporting the Edward team), Taylor, or New Moon in general? Be nice now...
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Since I'll Never Be On Oprah
I have to admit, I'm a bit sad that Oprah will be quitting in 2011. I mean, think of all of us that won't be able to be on her show! Okay, I've never really thought I was "Oprah material", but still. It is a little depressing.
How are we going to know what to buy people for Christmas? How are we going to know which books to read? How are we going to know anything anymore??
Sheesh.
So in honor of Oprah leaving (I know, I know, 2011 is so far away. But not really. I mean, it's almost 2010! Ack!), I'm going to go all Oprah on you.
No really. You think Oprah's the only one who can ask questions? The only one who can get a thoughtful discussion going? Well, okay, maybe that last one is a stretch for this blog.
But seriously. I'm Oprah today. And you're my guest. Imagine you've been in hair and makeup for three hours. The crowd of women is going completely crazy. I've got footage of your hometown, your job, your car, the whole she-bang. (Wow, what a great word. Must jot down...) And I'm calling your name and you're walking out and the lights are so so bright and there's screaming and you're waving with both hands, this huge Chesire grin on your face... Ahhh, are you with me? We're on Oprah.
Oprah/Elana: So, tell me about your book.
You: (fill in silence. There really can't be any silence during the show.)
Oprah/Elana: What prompted you to write this book?
You: . . .
O/E: So what do you do when you're not writing?
You:
O/E: What do you hope to accomplish with this book?
You:
O/E: What are you planning to work on next?
You:
O/E: Thanks for joining us today. We'll be right back.
FIVE MINUTES LATER (if you use a Spongebob voice, this is really funny. Just sayin'. Don't watch Spongebob? You = deprived.)
O/E: We want to thank you for joining us today. Here's what's happening on the Oprah show tomorrow. (fade to clip)
And now you can breathe again. But couldn't you so see yourself on Oprah? Yeah? Me too. But that's as close as we're going to get. She's quitting in 2011! Dudes. Yeah, just yeah.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Yeah, I Failed NaNo
So sue me.
Since I didn't win, I feel like I have to justify what I did with my time in November. Just for kicks:
1. I did write just over 25,000 words.
2. I signed with my dream agent.
3. I completed revisions for said agent.
4. I made six chocolate pies.
5. I cooked a turkey without filling the house with smoke.
6. I entertained people at my house for two days. Small house + Seven extra people + 48 hours + no deaths = major success.
And that doesn't even take into account my day job, my real life with two kids and/or grocery shopping and bill paying and all that other jazz.
So November wasn't a complete failure. Right? Right.
What have you been up to? Was your November successful? In what way?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
What's In A Website?
Okay, so I've sort of become addicted to the whole playlist thing. (Remember that whole week of songs I did? Yeah.) I even put a playlist on my website last week for my YA dystopian novel, CONTROL ISSUES. I like adding new stuff to my website, and I've read a lot of marketing posts (thanks, Shelli. She has awesome posts from publishing industry pros, so you should be reading her blog every day. Just sayin'.) about updating your blog and website often.
So I've got the blogging thing down. I don't really know how to update my website though. They seem more like static creatures. What do you guys think? Do you have a website? Do you update it "regularly?" With what?
And since I've got an uber-cool guy helping me re-design mine, I have to tell him what to put on it. And, yeah, um, I'm drawing a blank. What should a website have as a bare minimum? What do you like to see on an author website?
Leave me some examples of ones you think are wicked amazing, if you're so inclined. I'm in learning-mode on websites right now.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving and Other Such Things
Wow, what a great week of mantra-ing. You guys are made of win. I'm so glad I know each of you!
I'm going to be unplugged next week. I even took Tuesday off from work. Here's why.
Today I'm recovering from a 2 AM showing of New Moon. (srsly) And yes, it's a "recovery."
I've scheduled some major hours in the Revision Batcave of Awesomeness.
I need to make five pies for my husband's sixth grade class. That's how we roll. I toldja you wanted to be in his class.
Then I'm going to stuff myself with chocolate cream pie at my critique group on Tuesday night (make that six pies that need to be made). And then turkey on Thursday.
But since it's Black Friday next week, I'm going to offer a sale on my ebook, From the Query to the Call. This ebook offers everything from how to write a query letter, how to research and submit to agents, query letter samples and then a guide for how to field "the call." It's an essential read for every aspiring author.
And you can get it this whole week for 25% off! It's regularly $9.95. This week? $7.46.
Click this button and enter the code: 25percentoff (all one word, no spaces, caps, etc.)
And I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving. I know I have a lot to be grateful for.
Later gators!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Pay It Forward
As I was chatting with a friend last weekend, she said "Pay it forward." I can't even remember what we were talking about (I'm sure it was uber-important), but I thought it fit in perfectly with the mantra posts I had planned for the week.
So I'm adding it as the fourth part of the mantra.
1. Work Hard
2. Don't Give Up
3. Finish Strong
4. Pay It Forward
Yeah, I saw the movie. Didn't think it was all that special. But the concept is. The idea that you should lend support and help to those around you, showing them what you've learned, teaching them what you know, is made of awesomeness.
It's something I've been trying to do with my critique buddies. The query letters I read for people. The writing advice I've been given from agents. What I've learned in books. All of it.
I'm trying to pay it forward, so the next person who comes along, has the benefit of knowing what I've spent the last two years learning.
What about you? Do you subscribe to this theory of paying it forward? Is it worthy to be the fourth part of the writing mantra?
